Me: If I can just mutliply this figure into this one, in my head. (shot of a notebook with very detailed mathy shit – we’ll hire some nerd to draw it). And jot this down here… wait a second, this reminds me of something I calculated on page 103… (shot of me flipping back through the notebook to reveal every page has just as complicated mathy shit on it. We’ll pay the nerds in calculators, they’ll love that). Ahhh, just as I suspected, world domination! I knew he was up to something!
Ext. of my car (ferrari, don’t forget) peeling away.
Ext. of mansion (mine) with ferrari pulling up. An older man hurries off the porch to meet the ferrari.
Cougar: Dogman, I came as soon as I got your txt message! Let’s commence.
Me: Let’s roll. (camera shot of me with sunglasses, and a bad-ass guitar riff plays. Fade to black)
Int. of large evil looking castle. A man with a big moustache stands grandiosely overlooking us all.
Kid Wizard: I am Kid Wizard! I shall rule the world!
Me: Not if I can stop it! I’m the best they’ve got.
Kid Wizard: It’ll take more than that!
Cougar: He’s right, Dogman.
Me: I’ve got a plan.
I make a heroic dive for a weapon, but as I do so Kid Wizard pulls back a curtain to show my girlfriend who is totally hot in chains. Make that my wife. No, girlfriend. No no no, girlfriendS. 3 of them. All hotter than the next (wrap your minds around that one, MC Escher!). So I see the 3 girlfriends. 4? No, 3 is fine. 4 wouldn’t fit in my ferrari. So, there’s the 3 girlfriends and I put my head down sadly, like “what am I going to do now?” Then Cougar puts his hand on my shoulder and I know he has a plan, he always does.
Int. my mansion. Me and Cougar are going over blueprints and papers.
Cougar: and then if we just wait a day or so…
Me: No dice, Coug. We don’t have a day, OR so…
Cougar: What are you going to do?
Me: What I do every time, Cougar… Kick some ass.
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